Phlatlanders Route 66
Road Rally Extravaganza
Phlatlanders Route 66 presents our second (multi-car) Fuel on Fire Road Rally Extravaganza!
Buy it -- Paint it -- Add a shark fin to it — or run it “as-is” — then give it to your niece at college or donate it to a charity.
Think you have a nice car? Trustworthy mechanically and road-ready? Park it in the lot or leave it at home because, for this trip, she’s sitting this one out.
Have you been looking for a reason to take a sick day? Maybe the luxury of your current daily driver is wearing off? Would you like to remember what it was like driving your first piece of shit car?
How much does it cost to take part, and what's included? You need to buy a car for $1,500.00 or less and split that cost with your crew. Or spot them if you're "in the money," and they are busy sponsoring a cow for that 3rd world family again. Then you need to pay the standard entry fee of $0 dollars to cover the trophy, cigars, and silly string we always provide.
Eligible Cars
The vehicle must be road-worthy and legal for US highway travel. You must present a valid Bill Of Sale at the start proving the purchase price was $1,500.00 USD or less. Factory-built convertibles are welcome; however, the removal of a roof to a solid-top car is strictly banned. (Yes, Tim, this was for you)
The No Bumping Rule
This rally is not an amusement park ride, although some of us did vomit on the “It’s A Small World” ride in 2019. While heeps and junkers, which are typically scrapped at the end, make up a good proportion of the vehicles taking part, bumping into or nudging other team cars, whether moving or parked, is strictly prohibited. Violators will be required to purchase a round of libations at the evening’s point tally Ship, Captain, and Crew game. (bring singles)
How long does it take?
3 Days for the rally itself. Allowing for probably a day’s travel to the start, and another day to dispose of your car and fly home. Three days driving to the northland and back home to your dog(s).
When will it take place?
UPDATE:: The rally will start on Saturday, September 16th, 2023, at 9:30 am CT. Arrive at the parking lot between Jimmy’s Charhouse and Country Inn and Suites at 2290 Point Blvd Elgin, IL 60123 If you arrive early, join us at around 8 am if you desire a base of pancakes, eggs and some Burnt Toast at Burnt Toast just across Randall Rd from the parking lot.
The Finish line/destination will be at roughly 1:00 PM somewhere. It will be listed in your packet.
If you need to leave a parked car in the lot, Country Inn and Suites allow you to park a car for $2 bucks a night. It will probably be fine, but if not, I’m guessing Ray’s towed it.
Support during the rally?
None. Zip. Zilch. Call AAA. Bring a mechanic with tools in your vehicle. Pack duct tape and zip ties. Trust us, you really would not appreciate it if we deprived you of the uncertainty each day on whether your chosen chariot will make it to the next checkpoint, let alone start in the morning. Feel free to give us a call on our mobile phone if you do have a complete breakdown if only to let us know you are safe.
What do you do each day besides driving?
To keep you and your passengers amused, there will be a few tasks to perform en route, but if you just want to cruise through the great white north without taking part, that's cool with us too. Remember rule #1- this is categorically not a race but a leisurely drive by like-minded people, and there will be no advantage in arriving first.
At the final day’s award presentation ceremony, cash prizes will be awarded for the Top 3 cumulative team scores for the daily tasks. Awards are estimated to land somewhere below $10.00 dollars. The overall point winner will receive a custom-made trophy. It will be awesome, and you will be impressed. Just ask Scott and Kristy. An additional prize will also be awarded, by vote, for the best "pimp my ride" paint scheme (nice work last time - the Uber Sex Drive car was immaculate) and, at the organizer’s discretion, anything else that we think was awesome. Remember, everyone is a winner except the ones who lost. As Reese Bobby once said, " It’s Sunday, family dinner night, let’s go get thrown out of an Applebees"
Details, Details.
Your checkpoints, stop-over points, and hotel locations will be sent to you after your registration is complete.
Where do I find a car near the starting line?
Ask your friends. Maybe someone at the mini-mart has been thinking of dumping that old Pontiac Aztec. Check with Dave (he knows people at CarMax). Ask people at your Church. Worst case scenario, hit the web and search for used cars near me. You can do this. Pat just landed us a 1986 pink caddy! Then he punted.. so we are looking at an old Mercedes.
Anyone else has a source for vehicles? Please let me know!
We, therefore, urge you to sign up as soon as possible. To Register - Tell the person who told you about this to tell me. Or Email me - Jon Jonsson, and state the team name you want to Road Rally!!
As In any of our events, spaces are limited to 50 cars. For payment details, please bring a portable air compressor and commercial-grade lubricant to the starting line.
